This cheating website is the only one we’ve found to actually deliver. In our review, we found about 1/2 the people on Ashley Madison are married or in some kind of longer-term relationship.

The other half are just folks who don’t mind hooking up with someone else’s wife or husband.

So how do you start an affair with someone else’s wife on Ashley Madison a) without breaking the bank and b) without getting caught?

On Ashley Madison, it’s surprisingly easy if you follow our approach. Read on and we’ll tell you how.

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Be Prepared…

Beware: Women Don’t Pay:

Ashley Madison works on a straightforward “pay-as-you-go” credit-based system. You buy credits just for any services you want to use. By services, I mean sending emails, instant messaging, and fantasy date.

Only men buy credits:

Women can use the site for free (no gimmicks). IMPORTANT: Due to this fact, it’s critical that men establish quickly if a woman is genuine or just a tease. In our review, we found many women who were basically happy to talk forever while the men picked up the bill. Most guys never grasp this simple fact. They end-up spending big time and not getting any action.

In our review, we found many women who were happy to talk forever while the men picked up the bill. Most guys end-up spending big time and not getting any action.

Guys: Learn to spot the teasers:

We came across a lot of women who ultimately only wanted a man to chatter with and carry-out an online fantasy affair over the internet.

It’s essential that you avoid these women like the plague. If you’re only looking for online friendship, my advice is to save your money and go to OkCupid.

If you get chatting, or even worse emotionally involved with one of these women it can cost you dearly. They’ll cause you to burn-up huge amounts of credits and you’ll get nothing in return but earache. Look for these crucial warning signs:

Guys: Don’t treat it as a hookup site:

The biggest mistake I’ve seen is the guys that treat Ashley Madison as a hookup site. It’s not like that. You need to have an entirely different strategy here.

What we found was that many women are actually in fairly good, stable relationships, but just missing something in their lives. Maybe its sex, but not always.

  • Most likely she lives far away, possibly a different state or country
  • She’ll want you to go online regularly for pointless “chit chat”
  • She’ll make excuses to avoid a meeting in real life, but give endless promises
  • Constantly talking, and fantasizing about an affair that’s never is to be

Read on to find out how to avoid falling into this trap, and how to successfully have an affair without getting caught.

The Approach

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Read between the lines

There are certainly some women on there looking to leave their marriage – they see Ashley Madison as a way out. However, most don’t have that in mind. You need to read between the lines and establish clear boundaries to the relationship if that’s the vibe you are getting.

Always present a cool, laid back manner. Never be too eager. Make it crystal clear that you’re not going to encroach on her marital life and that she should not encroach on yours.

In our experience, setting clear boundaries is key to keeping things under control and significantly reducing the chances of either spouse finding out.

With the women you meet it’s vital that you show a mature and responsible attitude – the last thing any married woman wants is an affair with a clingy, insecure loser who’s likely to get her caught.

Affair strategies that work on Ashley Madison


A basic affair:

Our male reviewers had most success locating, and focusing their attention on nearby women (within a 2-hour drive). In our experience, we found further away prospects tended to be game players – more interested in fantasy affairs. Nearby women are far less likely to be game players because they know there’s a real possibility of a face-to-face meeting – and therefore the stakes are much higher.

Know when to quit:

If things didn’t progress after 5 or 6 chat sessions our guys gave-up on those women. This drastically reduced the number of credits spent as well as improving the success rate of genuine affairs. Think about it! Any woman considering an extra-marital affair is not gonna be interested in a guy who’s a plane journey or a 5-6 hour car ride away.


Most women in this group tended to be in their 30s or early 40s. But not all; there were some smoking hot 20-something, bored housewives, too – many of those had hubbies working away or just not attending to their (sexual) needs properly.

But in our review, we found most of the younger women to be of the type below.

Approach 2:  Pseudo affair (hooking up):  The other successful approach we had was to create the profile of a married man (even a single guy can do this), and go after single girls.

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Why would you do this?

There are a surprising number of single, attractive women on Ashley Madison who’re on there basically because they’re fed up with dating clingy, immature, single guys.

An affair with a married man is not only exciting, but it’s a relationship in which there are few commitments or long-term expectations – this is appealing to many young women nowadays. If you can be that man (doesn’t matter if you’re married or not) you can be extremely successful.

With either approach, you have to follow the same rules as above because there are plenty of women on Ashley Madison who’re more than happy to have you burn-up credits while they chat endlessly about the color of their nails or their next hairstyle.

Profile we created Response Rate (email replies vs. emails sent)
“Attached” male seeking attached female 22% – 63 emails sent, 14 replies
“Attached” male seeking single female 36% – 42 emails sent, 15 replies
Single male seeking attached female 0% – 27 emails sent, we had no replies
Single female seeking attached male 75% – 28 emails sent, we had 21 replies
Attached female seeking attached male 76% – 51emails sent, we had 39 genuine replies


There’s also a minority of “attached” gay and lesbian people on Ashley Madison. Some are in heterosexual marriages and are looking for a discreet same-sex relationship. Others are there to cheat on their long term (same-sex) partner.

Watch out for bots…

The other thing to be aware of is the so-called “bots”. Ashley Madison tells us in their Terms and Conditions that they do – at times – send out their own flirts and chat requests. Basically, they class this as “market research”.

You need to be aware of this and know how to spot these messages. Here’s what we found.

Clue 1. They are usually “generically worded” messages which don’t refer to anything specific about you or your profile – a sign of marketing.

Clue 2. These messages were usually received when we hadn’t upgraded yet or had just recently used-up all our credits.

Privacy on Ashley Madison

There’s a high degree of privacy settings and controls on Ashley Madison. It’s possible to control who sees your photos with the keypass system. You won’t ever have to reveal your identity to anyone unless you choose to. They also have a discreet billing system (see below).

In addition, for those who’re really paranoid, they offer a “clean-up service”. When you quit the site, the clean-up service will remove all traces of your activity – even messages that you’ve sent to other users and they’ve saved. This option is only available on canceling your membership.

Use “Pay As You Go” to Your Own Advantage

Pay-as-you-go can be good: Ashley Madison’s credit system can both work for you and against you.  Fact:  You only ever pay for what you use. Unlike a lot of other dating sites out there, you won’t be billed repeatedly, month after month even if you’re not doing anything.  That’s the good part, now continue reading below.

Ashley Madison’s Costs and Prices(2019)

  • Basic plan– 0.59 USD / Credit • $59
  • Classic– 0.34 USD / Credit • $169
  • Elite– 0.29 USD / Credit • $289

Plans and costs

Understand the rebilling • The next thing to understand is the re-billing. Even though Ashley Madison doesn’t have regular subscriptions, if you overspend on a credit plan you’ve bought into you’ll be automatically billed again to top up those overspent credits (unless you cancel it).

That’s the bad side. If you’re super-active on the site, like our reviewers were, you can end up spending a lot of money. You have to keep topping-up your credits in order to continue emailing and chatting with women.

Billing is discreet • Ashley Madison uses a separate company to handle its secure billing. So don’t worry – you won’t ever see their name appearing on your credit card. In fact, the company itself doesn’t even see the names of any of its members.

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